


through the years

by sunset_oasis



Series: Innocent Before Yesterday [18]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon AU but almost canon compliant, F/F, i don't even know what i'm doing anymore, slightly ambiguous ending, this is all very experimental omg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 19:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11790066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunset_oasis/pseuds/sunset_oasis
Summary: In truth, she had always been slightly in love with her best friend.





	through the years

**Author's Note:**

> A.N. 1: Before continuing further, I just want to state that just because I write about some character does NOT mean I agree with / condone / excuse / romanticize any of their problematic canon actions. I'm just ... experimental, shall we say.
> 
> A.N. 2: The little plot point about Binns and Umbridge and why Binns never retired after death, was inspired from my favorite fanfic, The Sinister Man's [Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11191235/).
> 
> disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

__

In truth, she had always been slightly in love with her best friend.

* * *

 

They'd met at eleven. Both halfbloods, both Ravenclaws, bonding over the experience of growing up in both worlds. One girl had always been very passionate about Arithmancy even at the young age, having growing up with her mothers' Arithmancy books in the house. The other girl loved history, fascinated with both wizarding and muggle history, and especially in how the same events could be portrayed so differently.

It seemed a lifetime ago now, those younger memories of happier times. Of reading books into the late night that weren't part of the curriculum and then suddenly realizing the sunlight was shining into the Ravenclaw tower. Of only barely finishing the papers of the subjects they were uninterested in just before the deadline. Of wild parties after exam, of drinking firewhiskey before coming to age for  _experimental_  purposes. Of passing notes in class about random obscure knowledge suddenly coming to mind. Of thinking there was no one who could understand them more than each other.

So,  _so_  long ago. It'd been before her escape into the muggle world because of the looming war, before her marriage to a muggle, before the divorce that came 2 years after with a toddler in arm, before finally coming back to the wizarding world and trying to get a job at the ministry to no avail and she finally wrote to her old friend.

Which brought her to now.

The door in front of her swung open, and her breath hitched slightly, willing herself to calm.

"Vanessa," the other woman's voice was slightly different from what she remembered, but was still faintly reminded her of their teenage years. "Please do come in."

"Thanks," Vanessa Edgecombe replied as she followed Dolores Umbridge into her house. "So nice of you to see me."

 

* * *

 

Dolores brought her tea. She didn't mention the letter Vanessa had sent, asking her for some recommendation for any Ministry job, so Vanessa didn't bring the subject up first either. They chatted politely about the weather at first, about the gossip of the day according Daily Prophet. They politely enquired about each other's dating life, (turned out neither of them had one.)

 _Is this what best friends who grew apart sounded like?_  Vanessa wondered.  _Growing up, moving on in life … and then what?_ She took a sip of tea. Tea solved problems. (They were British, after all.)

Finally, after all those polite, superficial chit-chat, Dolores commented, "I don't think we've sounded this polite to each other since … eleven?"

The tension evaporated some, as Vanessa cracked a faint smile, " _Have_  we been this polite at eleven?"

Dolores snorted a bit, and suddenly sounded a lot like her teenage days, and the earlier awkwardness slid away. "Probably not. I still remember you try to snatch one of my books away without asking on the first day we met –" Amusement now danced in her eyes now, as she brought up an age old joke between them, and for a moment, it seemed like they were teenagers again.

"In my defense, it  _was_  an edition I thought was no longer available," Vanessa rolled her eyes. "You do know what those do to an eleven year old Ravenclaw."

 

* * *

 

The tension disappeared as they chattered on more openly, and blunt honesty replaced polite awkwardness. Vanessa told Dolores about the unsuccessful marriage and how much free time taking care of a child took away. Dolores updated her on the things that happened in the wizarding world these past few years, and the transitions of powers in the Ministry. She also complained bitterly about how she had been hoping to become the professor for History of Magic at Hogwarts, and how she'd given up after finding out why Binns was forever holding that damned position even after his  _death_.

Dolores's tone became more salty and scathing as she talked about it, and it shocked Vanessa a bit at how … hardened, how angry she sounded. But in some way, maybe she wasn't that surprised. Dolores had always been interested in History of Magic in school, even if she had, like most students, thought Binns was absolutely boring. But she'd always read a lot of books on her own and had naively thought that she might be able to replace Binns someday.

She should've  _known_  that of  _course_  there was a reason that the ghost was teaching them despite his being dead.

After that, while she still managed to get some archivist job at the Ministry that paid okay, while she thought she was long over it, deep down, she knew she was still bitter. And Vanessa could hear it in Dolores's tones.

"Anyway," Dolores's said briskly. "Forget about Binns. Let's talk about other stuff." She waved a bit as her cat wandered across the living room towards them, "Van, meet Misty."

 

* * *

 

Dolores's recommendation managed to get Vanessa a job at the same department as her.

They'd always been close, always been good at understanding each other. Of course, that'd been years ago now. But it all came back surprisingly easier than Vanessa had imagined. Still, neither of them were sixteen anymore, and occasionally she'd still found out some parts of Dolores that she didn't expect, but maybe that was just part of life. Working alongside, they slowly became the close friends they'd once been at Hogwarts.

Well, perhaps a little closer than that.

 

* * *

 

Last time they'd been friends, Vanessa had never been in a serious relationship before. Sure, there had been a few casual dates here and there, or some stuff that happened at one of those parties after Quidditch games, but never a serious relationship. She hadn't really known what it felt like to be in love.

Now she did. Even if Mike and she had ended up in a divorce, they'd once been in love.

Now she knew how love felt.

And she realized, she might be starting to get that feeling again.

 

* * *

 

They were in their late twenties now, but sometimes when they went shopping it felt like sixteen all over again. While sneaking into those obscure book shops in Knockturn Alley had lost some of its thrill, it was still fun to discover a limited edition now and then.

They'd both aged, both lost some of the idealistic childhood dreams, but somehow, spending time together with Dolores had a mysterious way of making Vanessa felt young and energetic again.

 

* * *

 

It sort of just … happened.

Her daughter Marietta was asleep and Vanessa and Dolores were talking about some Ministry gossip at Vanessa's study. And then Vanessa's glance fell down to Dolore's pink shirt – they preferred to be a little more muggle styled and more convenient when they weren't in the public, another habit from the teenage years – she thought about how Dolores had always been unapologetic about her love for pink. Vanessa herself had gone through a phase of rejecting all feminine looking things, though she had eventually grown out of caring too much about those. Life had more pressing matters to deal with, after all, from divorce to finding a job.

Her eyes lingered a bit on the faint outlines of the bra under the pink shirt, and it wasn't exactly an appealing sight, maybe, and yet –

Vanessa didn't really know what the right word to describe it was, but perhaps  _domestic_  might be the closest. Or casual. Whatever. Like it wasn't something to wear to a club to woo one night stands or clothing that looked professional at work but it was like a sign of how engraved they were in each other's lives right now. All the late night talks that reminded her of those years up at Ravenclaw Tower, looking slightly tired yet enthusiastic, hairs slightly disheveled and make ups scrubbed away that not like the traditional definition of beauty but with an air of casualness, of laidback-ness that was a little intoxicating in its own way.

Her breathe suddenly caught.

 

* * *

 

She'd always been a little in love with her best friend.

They'd always understood each other a little too well.

It was their first kiss.

 

* * *

 

It evolved a little too fast after that, but Vanessa wasn't complaining. It'd been too long, after all. For both of them. Vanessa hastily grabbed the books on the desk and put them away on a cabinet, because some of those were rather expensive books, after all.

In the morning, she would be relieved that she'd taken such a precaution. Right now, though, she was just thinking, "So this was how the passion fruit lipstick tastes like."

It might be just to her taste.

 

* * *

 

They kept it a secret, as they knew how unconventional it would seem to the wizarding world. But it definitely didn't happen just once. But maybe keeping it a secret, keeping it just like this was okay. They were both adults now, no longer viewing romance the same way they had at fifteen.

It wasn't as if they really need labels, if they were both so quick to understand each other. And they were keeping it a secret from everyone else anyway.

It was fine. Mostly.

 

* * *

 

Until Dolores's promotion at the Ministry. Her long experience as an archivist plus some background knowledge in the laws had caught Fudge's eyes. He was starting to feel insecure about his Minister position and convinced that Dumbledore was plotting something. He wanted someone with knowledge in laws and history by his side to advise him of his actions.

It was a chance Dolores was thrilled about. While she'd been slowing advancing in her original department through the years, it was almost nothing compared to directly being asked to work for the Minister. Plus, she was also naturally curious what Cornelius Fudge might be actually worrying about. And as someone who'd always had high interest in history, the current political power plays intrigued her.

She said yes.

Vanessa was happy for her too, but also slightly jealous, despite her rationality telling her she had no right to. So she said nothing.

Things in the Ministry were fast changing that year, new laws suddenly being passed and conspiracies floating around, some about Dumbledore and some about some Ministry employees who'd once been accused of being a Death Eater. The whole atmosphere of the wizarding world seemed to be changing drastically, and Vanessa couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable.

Dolores taking the Defense Against the Dark Arts position on Fudge's order also significantly lessened the time they could spend together. Vanessa thought about how Dolores had always wanted to be a professor, but she wanted to be teaching History of Magic rather than DADA. She thought about Dolores's fast promotion and taking another job at the same time while reporting back to Fudge.

She thought about Dumbledore, and the Potter boy the Prophet's Rita Skeeter had written so much about. She thought about how they would be spending much fewer time together now, she thought about how Dolores had left her in the same department and moved onto better positions. She thought about how she really shouldn't be jealous.

And suddenly, she didn't know what to feel anymore.

 

* * *

 

Vanessa was annoyed when she heard about Marietta's involvement in the Potter boy's illegal group. She'd thought her daughter would know better. She was glad that Marietta had come to her senses, but decidedly furious when she learnt the cost. That Granger girl had done some probably illegal spell on her daughter, and everyone seemed to be letting her get away with it.

Dolores promised to find a way to punish the Granger girl for this. And Vanessa wondered why she'd always been the one needing Dolores help, and no wonder Dolores was the one to get promoted and not her.

Instead of saying what she thought, Vanessa thanked her.

 

* * *

 

She wondered, not for the first time that year, how things had spiraled out of control in a mere few months. How the British wizarding world had been strange since the end of the Triwizard Tournament. How she and Dolores's dynamics had changed after Dolores had taken her new job. She thought about the word "sneak" tattooed across her daughter's face. How Dolores had promised to help but still hadn't had time to get back to Vanessa about it because she and Fudge were busy tracking down Dumbledore.

They'd reconciled so easily after Vanessa had first come back to the wizarding world all those years ago, but things seemed to be falling apart even faster now.

She wondered if she even had enough energy to care anymore.

 

* * *

 

Immediately after Marietta finished her end of the year exam, Vanessa pulled her out of Hogwarts and transferred to Beauxbatons. Turmoil was going on in Britain, she could feel something even more dangerous coming. They left that night, and whether it was out of bitterness or pettiness or something else she wasn't sure, Vanessa didn't leave a message for Dolores.

She didn't really know whether she wanted Dolores to come to find her either. A part of her secretly wished Dolores might, as she wondered how much she really weighed in the other woman's heart; another part of her just wanted to cut everything clean, to have a fresh new start.

But what she wanted never mattered anyway, because Dolores did not come looking for her. Vanessa didn't know whether to be relieved or not.

In fact, she didn't know a lot of things. Including the real reason that Dolores was unable to do much about Vanessa's sudden disappearance was that she was busily healing at St Mungo's for a few months because of the incident at Forbidden Forest.

Relieved or not, she trained herself not to care anyway. Romances were for teenage girls, and she'd long grown past that. Life's got more pressing matters, like settling down in a new country and the shocking news about You Know Who returning from death.

She was no longer fifteen, or even twenty five. She had no delusions about love, about romantic stories that only happened in fairy tales. Life went on, after all. She would survive it.

Or so she hoped.

 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](http://ff-sunset-oasis.tumblr.com)


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